If you say, i wish to be charming and attractive like my best friend. It means you are envious not jealous.
If you say my girlfriend/boyfriend was dancing with another person. It means you are jealous and not envious.
Haha ,surprise surprise everyone! All the definition of jealousy you had till date proved wrong. Don’t worry, i too was wrong until i started to write this blog.
Envyin simple terms is wanting something which you don’t have. Jealousyoccurs when something we already possess (usually a special relationship) is threatened by a third party.
Envy is a two person situation. Whereas jealousy is a three person situation.
What does this second third person mean Adin? Envy comes because you lack something the other person has. Jealousy is a reaction to the threat of losing someone. The difference between jealousy and envy lies in the contrast between desiring to be like someone and desiring to be with someone.
For example : I wish i could look like Hande Ercel. Or i had a physique like Arnold Schwarzenegger. (Unfortunately i don’t know to pronounce Schwarzenegger)
Envy means to bear a grudge toward someone due to coveting what that person has or enjoys. In a milder sense, it means “the longing of something someone else has without any ill will intended toward that person “
Jealousymeans ” apprehensive or vengeful act of fear of being replaced by someone else“. It can also mean watchful, anxiously, suspicious ,zealous or expecting complete devotion.
What are the consequences if you are not unf*ckwithable?
Before getting into the discussion I want you to ask yourself a few questions.
👎Are you bothered by what others think about you?
👎If someone didn’t text you or check on you back and you wonder what you did wrong?
👎Do you restrict yourself from doing something new just because you fear what society and the world might think about you?
👎You tried something new and nobody praised you.
👎Are you into pleasing people just because you are afraid of losing them or feeling alone?
👎 Do you always get bogged down always when you see your friends and colleagues progressing at a faster rate than you?
👎Are you afraid of getting left in the dust?
These are signs of tiny blows which eats off your confidence in the long run. And the reason they have such a big effect is because you ‘re seeking external approval. You don’t feel whole. You place your worth in hands of others and only feel good enough when you are accepted, praised and admired. In other words You’re f*ckwithable.
Look we all have a natural craving for seeking validation.
Step1: Have goals which are (self fueled) rather not fueled by others. What does this mean? If your goal is to get particular people to love you, to accept you, to praise you ,you give your power away to them. You are at mercy of others. So instead of receiving always, lets be grateful for what we have. And start giving back the world in return. Your goal should be to bring as much as energy, love and enthusiasm as you can to the lives of those around you. Then you’re unfuckwithable. Oh, how does this work? It’s because you are always in control of giving . You are in control of giving love, energy, enthusiasm and nobody can take this away from you. Any love or acceptance you get in return is just a bonus. Self fueled goals
Step2 : You’re are enough. ‘You are enough, you were always enough, you always will be enough’.
When you internalize this, you don’t need to depend on others for validation. Being unf*ckwithable means whatever you are doing is best and you are good enough. No changes, no upgrades or tweaks required.
Unf*ckwithable means to become immune to praise and criticism and have self fueled goals. Which are not based on decision of others.
Confidence is like great orgasm , everyone thinks they have a lot of it , but in reality nobody knows what the fuck they are doing.
A lot of relationship advise says thatjealousyin relationship stems from insecurity . We feel jealous because we don’t appreciate our value. We see other people as ‘better’ than us which makes us inadequate and we become afraid of being replaced.
No matter how confident you are, there is always an area that just is not your forte.
A quick google search reveals thatjealousy and possessivenessin relationships are things that people seem to struggle with a lot. But does that mean to eliminate them completely? Hell.. no, as we saw earlier they are there for a reason. Only thing to look at is to change your attitude towards them and not to get rid of them completely.
Lets deal with Jealousy and envy by dealing with Jealousy and Envy. ( I know its an annoying answer)
Being vulnerable with what you feel and why you feel it!
In the first place , you need to be aware of what you are feeling. Is it Envy or Jealousy? Both are often conflated to mean same. Don’t bottle up your insecurities and let them eat you from inside . If you feel inadequate, tell your partner about it . Be vulnerable. Let them in, show them your weaknesses , give them a chance to reassure you and build you up.
Admitting to feeling jealous because of your insecurities helps you a lot in the long run. You don’t have fear of being judged by your partner. When i become jealous, i admit it to my girlfriend why and what makes me feel that way. (i know this sucks, but there is no other way out). She calms by reassuring me what i mean for her and what the other person means to her. Sometimes , you just have to understand. I know this sounds bizarre, of you being jealous of xyz person , and admitting it as well. But you need to fucking speak up. ‘I feel this and for that reason’ (Illegitimate reasons would do!.)
Let’s talk about Envy as well
Dealing with Envy
I admit i have not been working out for a week or may be two. Reason umm.., may be because i tell myself to focus on blogs, you tube videos for kids , and their promotion. These are the problems in my life for which i give a fuck about. They in return give me happiness. I scroll through my Instagram account the other day, i see an Indian now living abroad . I see his workout videos. I think he is a lucky bastard. He stays in USA . That’s why people admire him and see his workout regime. OK am already doing that . Then i see his sexy abs workout (i notice my family pack already jutting out). Why the fuck am i not working out?
Then i see a story on my account, a girl playing with her dog . I wish i had a dog too. I don’t know what i’ll do with him , but i wish i had one. Then there is another pain in the ass , i see, people roaming out in cars during lock down..
Get a reality check
When you’re marveling at someone’s social networking profile or alumni newsletter update, it’s easy to forget that everyone has a public and private face. We all strive to put our best face forward. That classmate or co-worker who seems to have an amazing life may be secretly struggling. (fuck i struggle too…). Don’t believe the hype about other people. Instead, realize that everyone struggles with something and you might not know what the inside view of another person’s life is.
I got an exercise for you. Its simple as well. Any time, i see anyone trying something new, like opened an You Tube channel or started blogging, started a dance or singing career, or may be got a new partner , instead of thinking wish i could also ….. (wait i already have a girlfriend). Stop yourself there itself and go appreciate that person for the work they are doing. I may message , call , comment or anonymously text them for the wonderful thing they are doing. Even if they are fucking their life , its their life to take care of. Motive here is stop self-sabotaging and go appreciate someone. This has many benefits. First it makes you more of a social person. Second, you don’t suffer alone, you have many people at your back. Third , you share their joy and happiness, you become a part of their life.
Envy and Jealousy in relationships
When someone suffers from Envy , they want to be like us . We can take care not to mobilize their Envy. Although, we certainly don’t want to have to downfall what is good in our lives just to suit another person, we can be mindful to provide a balanced picture. We can tell them of what problems we face in our day-to-day life (OK,i suck at dancing), instead of boasting of your greatness.
When someone suffers from Jealousy they want to be with us. We can mitigate their jealousy by reassuring them of their value to us. Of course , don’t give in to jealousy and alienate other people from your lives.
Also, one more tip, if the above don’t work. (fuck everyone)
You can’t please everyone.
Anonymous story book
Jealousy and Envy are both good indicators. Do not ignore or suppress them. They can help you protect and nourish your relationship (ultimately who wants to put their partner at risk?) Owning your jealousy and envy may sound scary, but helps a lot in the long run.
As of jealousy , there is nothing wrong with wanting your partner to yourself and making that clear to others. That is your mate after all. Mark your boundaries when required. But don’t overdo it.
So what you do to deal with Jealousy and Envy ?
Let me know in the comments.
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Jealousy isn’t always materialistic. People envy how others love you, show love to you and have love for you. People envy the way you handled a situation that they couldn’t . What would broken them,didn’t break you .They envy because something they couldn’t get past, was a breeze for you.
As i was researching on this topic . browsing through articles on web ,my heart started to race fast. Knowing the terms related to me. All my past experiences played like a movie , i realized where i sucked and where i didn’t. If you say, you are not a jealous or an envious person then there is something wrong. Too much of anything is always bad . These are normal human emotions and they are there for a reason.
You notice your partner distancing from you, and spending most of their time with a co-worker probably more attractive than you. If you say you are not concerned there is a problem with you. You are f*cking denying reality. You may argue on having trust and loyalty , yes that is important too. But a sensible man will be like fuck trust, i need to figure what’s going on first. Jealousy also works on saving relationship as well. It acts as a precautionary tool.
Here being positive sucks. Your life is devastated in front of your eyes. You sit back saying its normal and reciting ‘all happens for a reason’. Confronting your fears and anxiety head on, makes you more confident and self- assured in the long run.
Roots : Envy is a feeling of discontent or covetousness with regard to someone ‘s advantages, possessions, or traits such as beauty, success, or talent. It’s also a common defense to shame, when we feel less than another in some respect. When the defense is working, we’re not aware of feeling inadequate. We may even feel superior and disparage the person we envy. A narcissist might go so far as to sabotage or defame the envied person. All the while unconscious of feeling inferior himself.
I recently had posted an Instagram post. Discussing how i suffered from depression, how i got out of it , how i was my worst critic, how i overcame self-pity. I wrote there how a sweet girl was there for my help and how with her help all the above problems were solved. I learned to be vulnerable and to accept my reality. Fortunately, i had the girl to be my girlfriend . A few days later after the post , i had her telling me that a friend of mine was spreading rumors about our relationship. In which the girl had the major role. I was furious because i regarded her to be a close friend. I could sit and write articles on how to stop worrying on what others think of you. But i didn’t and decided to talk to her, to tell her to shut the fuck up . But my girlfriend stopped me from doing so. She told me Adin you can’t always stop people’s mouth from throwing shit. She told me may be she is insecure herself.
Arrogance and aggression serve as defenses along with envy. Generally, the degree of our devaluation or aggression is commensurate with the extent of underlying shame.
Jealousy also stems from feelings of inadequacy, though they are usually more conscious than with envy. However, whereas envy is the desire to possess what someone else has, jealousy is the fear of losing what we have. We feel susceptible to losing the eye or feelings of somebody on the brink of us. It is defined as mental uneasiness thanks to suspicion or fear of rivalry or unfaithfulness and should include envy when our rival has aspects that we desire. By discouraging infidelity, jealousy historically has served to take care of the species, certainty of paternity, and therefore the integrity of the family. But it are often a destructive force in relationships — even lethal. Jealousy is the leading cause of spousal homicides.
A short story of Bella
A short story of Bella Bella’s deep-seated belief that she was inadequate and undeserving of love motivated her to seek male attention and at times intentionally act in ways to make her boyfriend jealous and more eager. Her insecurity also made her jealous. She imagined that he desired other women quite her, when that wasn’t the case. Her beliefs reflect toxic or internalized shame common among codependents. It’s caused by the emotional abandonment in childhood and results in problems in intimate relationships.
So what according to you are the roots of Envy and Jealousy .
We stop ourselves from doing things, we always wanted to, only because we fear we will fail.
Fear of asking your crush out!
Fear for asking for a increase in salary pay.
Fear of going up on stage.
Fear of asking your boss payment during the pandemic!
Fear of losing family, friend’s respect when you opt to try something new!
Fear of failing in a relationship
Fear of accepting reality
(You know you suck, but you still pretend you don’t)
I don’t say fear is bad or is a negative emotion.
How was fear during stone age times? Fear is a vital response to physical and emotional danger that has been pivoted throughout evolution. If people didn’t feel fear, they wouldn’t be able to protect themselves from legitimate threats which often had life or death consequences in the ancestral world.
You can say a fight or a flight situation. You either fight or resort to flight for survival.
How is fear in current times?
Nowadays, the stakes are low. You obviously don’t have huge animals running behind you.
Or a hot head savage (clothed in leaves) running behind you.
Or a short faced bear and sabertooth cats trying to eat you up. But we do still have the fight and flight mental thing. So going for a first date feels like a fight or flight situation. Thanks to me, i took science during college days. I understand this so well.
Everything seems scary at first
Suppose you have been on a date.Then you go to a second date ,then a third. Years pass and you master the dating process . ..Then you think, its not that scary as it looked like at the first place.
Everything at the first place looks scary and agitating.
According to psychology, its like a loop.
Once you understand a game, you become more confident around it
Also it works the reverse way as well.
Once you develop a fear, you develop more fears around it.
When i was in 10th std , i was a studious teen . Always listening to teachers, obeying them, being a good child. What i sucked at was i never could talk or give a speech publicly. I used to be called to speak on mike for assembly. (Assembly is a short prayer type before school routine starts) Speaking on mike made me nervy. Making a mistake there, used to eat me up with guilt. Then i was the school’s prelim topper. So at the farewell party, after all the lovely program set for us, i had to do the most difficult part.
Go on stage to accept felicitations. And give a goddamn speech on how will i top the final exams as well!!!
.. And then it happened. I gave my best speech i could ever give, in a minute.
This is what i said.
I will top, you don’t worry, i will top, i will make our principal proud😂😂.
Though i didn’t get any claps, all i got were these words from the principal.
“You are the school topper and you gave such a horrible speech”
That ate me up for a few months.
Now i am in my degree college. I am a science tutor at a renowned class in Mumbai . I give amazing presentations in college as well as in class. I am a phenomenal speaker now.
How i can now easily do the things i always wanted to? Years of practice, writing scripts, rewriting them. Making myself vulnerable. Accepting honest feedback got me here.
The thing i hated 5 years ago i love it now.It all started with the failure i received years back.
If i never experienced that, i wouldn’t have been here.
How to overcome fear of failure? I will discuss 4 proven methods which i myself use a lot!
1. Having smart goals.
According to google-have 50% goals which have 50% chance of failure
Google applies this strategy to all its goals. It failed at google plus, google waves, google videos, google talk to name a few.
2.Writing down your fears.
Journalling helps lot in this case. I myself journal a lot, i write about difficult emotions which cannot be handled.
If you want to know more about how to start journalling and its benefits, let me know in the comments. I will making a blog on how to properly journal to boost productivity.
3. Preparing yourself for the worst
You could ask yourself about what worse can happen in a situation
You may get rejected.
You may get turned down.
You may get bogged down.
What more can happen? Is that the worse ?
You see your mind can elevate a thought to look like a monster. It can also make it look petite.
Knowing the worse, helps in handling failures well.
4. Having a positive attitude
What would you do differently if you were absolutely guaranteed of success in any undertaking?” Would you try more things? Would you keep working long after others would have given up? People who have positive attitudes are successful because they keep trying even after others give up.
What methods have you been using successfully for overcoming fear?Let us know in the comments!
I guarantee that you have atleast one of these signs. Only thing is we never knew they existed.
Lets get started.
1. You have realized your self worth.
Strong people have a strong sense of self worth and self awareness. They don’t need the approval of others.
You know your value. You know you are enough. You know what is good and bad for you. You are confident in your own skin. You know you are flawed and that no one is perfect. You know how to carry yourself ,the way you like.
2. You focus on the things you can control, and leave the things you can’t.
Phenomenal changes occur when you let go of the need to control.
Constant urge to control things lead to stress. Bulletproof people know this fact very well. You don’t try to control things. You know you can’t change the world, but you can definitely change yourself. You let the world as it is.
3. You take responsibility for your own actions and not of others.
With great responsibility comes great power-Mark Manson.
Bulletproof people take responsibility for their problems. You don’t play the blame game. You know that you are responsible for everything which happens in your life. And that you are responsible for your behaviour and actions. You don’t try to change others instead you focus on self-improvement.
4.You live life fearlessly
Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose- Vishen lakhiani.
You don’t fear what life throws at you. Fearlessly doesn’t mean being afraid. It means having doubts. It means living inspite of things which scare you to death. You are willing to face your fears. You are willing to get out of your comfort zone. You accept challenges life throws at you. You train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.
5. You forgive
To err is human to forgive is divine
You don’t find yourself trapped in past hurtful feelings and emotions. No matter, how hurtful the situation might be you learn to forgive. You are always ready to move ahead in life. Because external things or events don’t affect you.
6.You don’t depend on others for validation
What makes people weak? Their need for validation and recognition, their need to feel important all the goddamn time. Don’t get caught in the trap – Paul Caelho.
You know your self worth comes from within. You don’t rely on others to validate you. You have self fueled goals. You know its ok to stand out, you can’t please everyone. You are so engrossed in your mission that such things don’t touch you.
So which of the 6 signs you have?Are you really bullet proof ?
If you didn’t know the apps, its like users can download the app from playstore or can sign up for an account on google. Then they can link this account to instagram, snapchat and facebook. Such way it allows people to share their anonymous m
If you also are using sarahah or sayat me, let me ask you a few questions.
👎Did someone anonymously tell you are handsome and charming? (if you’re a boy).
👎Did someone anonymously tell you are beautiful , lovely . And they have a secret crush on you? (if you’re girl).
👎Or are you among someone who received an abusive message and you are wondering who sent that?
👎Are you still judging yourself on the message?
👎Are you figuring out the entire day, who may be the people, who are sending you anonymous messages?
👎Do you also post such anonymous messages ,which you get, on instagram, facebook stories to find the person who wrote it?
I am like f*ck these apps. What am addressing here is a serious issue.
All humans have a natural tendency to seek validation from others
So shy, timid even confident people fall trap to such apps.
An anonymous good compliment, kind words can boost your morale. People who use these apps consistenly look for their admirers. But what you don’t know is that you are exposing yourself to unnecessary shit ,abuse and criticism. On which you have no control over. Suppose Frank is really a lovely person . He sees all his friends have a sayatme account. He also plans to open one. He links it to his instagram id. Some days pass, he constantly checks that account to see who commented about him. If he doesn’t find any comment, he feels sad. One day frank opens his account to see an abusive message sent by an anonymous person. In that it is written, frank is a creep and a disgusting person. He never knows who wrote that. But, he internalizes himself to what that unknown person told him. He starts hating himself. But he one day shares this to his good friend Jim. Jim tells him that he is really a lovely person and he should not internalize that message. Frank decides to delete the app. Somedays pass, frank is again a happy person.
Moral of the story: Not all of us have friends like Jim to guide us(pun intended).
For not everybody is that strong to handle such things.
But who are those people who abuse or bully you anonymously through sayatme and sarahah?
Your long search ends here. Studies says, that people reveal their true colours if they get a chance to hide their identity. If they hate or grudge against you, they anonymously throw their disgust at you through such messages. The person who does such things may have better sleep, but on the other hand your sleep will be shattered.
Reading such comments shatters your confidence. You may suffer from anxiety, sadness and may even go into depression. Worse you may even suicide. I care for my viewers and so i wrote this. Also i know my viewers won’t get into such a trap.
Conclusion : Avoiding such apps for your mental health(don’t even try them). I know its not easy for people to stop seeking validation from people overnight.
You are enough, you were always enough, you will always be enough
Don’t validate yourself by depending on others or seeking their approval. If you liked this post, Click to share this .How many of your friends use sayatme or sarahah?
Do let me know in the comments!
Also don’t forget to share the blogs on Whats app, Pinterest or any other social media platform you use. This encourages me to write more and ultimately help you more.
Everyone is at home due to been quarantined or due to social distancing. Everybody is stressed and demotivated👎.
People’s energy levels are lower than normal these days. Nobody can find a reason to be happy!
Don’t worry i’ll make your life easier. I’ve culled through the wealth of data on exercise and health to come up with this list of 10 solid reasons to work that body of your’s. Click to tweet.
Let’s get started
1.Workout helps reduce blood pressure
Chronic hypertension is number one form of heart disease. Deaths due to cardiovascular disease due to the virus are increasing.
Exercise helps to reduce your blood pressure. It attacks the plaque blocking your arteries. As arteries widen, blood flow increases throughout your body. Also as you workout,your heart also gets a workout.
The stronger your heart gets, more efficiently it pumps blood to your body.
2.Exercise helps lower type 2 diabetes and in some cases can even reverse them.
My mom suffered from diabetes. She didn’t know she had diabetes and because of that she got an eye cataract. We had to operate her. Before operation she had to lower her blood sugar level. Otherwise she could not be operated. But within 2 weeks, we got her blood sugar level to normal and had a successful operation. She followed a particular diet and a workout regime.
3. Exercise helps maintain immune functioning.
Your immune system is what protects you from infection and other chemical toxins. The immune system also plays a vital role in saving you from the virus.Strong immune system means good response to tackle stress. Lack of immunity leads to aging fast in people who don’t exercise regularly, according to studies. Exercising regularly can give you rock solid immunity to help fight the virus and combat stress.
4. Working out works like a de-stressor.
I don’t mean to say workout zaps your stress away. But it will surely reduce your stress levels. How does this work? Lets find out. We give a lots of f*ck to unimportant things which leaves us stressed. But working out works like a de-stressor. It definitely help curb stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline(as long you don’t overdo it).It floods your body with feel good endorphins. It also releases happy hormones like dopamine and serotonine. According to studies, people who regularly worked out reported 45% fewer days of stress,depression than those who didn’t workout.
5. It will make you feel motivated and carve a way for you to be truly unf*ckwithable!
Completing a workout is in itself a challenge. Completing this challenge builds self esteem. You value yourself more for completing diffficult tasks. You grow in self confidence. You pose yourself new workout challenges and you beat them. It can be a huge morale for you.
6.Exercise helps you think clearly.
Exercise helps you think clearly about which things to really give a f*ck about and which not to give .
Research indicates that exercise is good for cognitive function- especially helpful now ,when most of us are feeling scattered.
7.Exercise gives you a structure during a chaotic time
If you’re one of the people self quarantining and self distancing, due to the virus,you may be working from home. Work load is so huge that it becomes difficult to differentiate between work and non-work hour.
8. Exercise means better sleep. Harvard studies says exercise works to strengthen circadian rhythm promoting daytime alertness and helping to bring on sleepiness at night.
9. Ah,also a point on beauty. Workout helps improve your skin tone and makes your skin glow.Aerobic exercise makes you sweat and promotes the removal of toxins through perspiration. Working out tones the skin , improves blood circulation and oxygenation to the skin and so imparts a healthy glow. Exercise is a great deterrent of wrinkles, fine lines, and sagging skin.
10. Exercise helps in building muscles and bones
Ncbi studies say exercise helps in maintaining muscles and bones. Physical activities like running, weight lifting stimulates muscle building when paired with adequate protein intake. This is because exercise helps release hormones that promote the ability of your muscles to absorb amino acids. This helps them grow and reduce muscle breakdown.
Exercise helps build bone density when you’re younger, and in addition helps prevent osteoporosis later in life.
As i always do.Before getting into the actual discussion ,ask yourself a few questions.
👎Do you constantly doubt your own decisions?
👎 You aren’t comfortable alone!
👎Are you always looking at your flaws?
👎Do you feel you aren’t ready!
👎Do you compare yourself to others all the time on social media or in real life?
👎You are your biggest critic?
These are signs or you may say symptoms which clearly say you are not truly happy! That’s fine Adin i don’t give a f*ck about happiness! But what you don’t know is that in the long run, it will make you depend on others for validation. So how to be truly happy? I’ll be giving you 5 secret tips Let’s start……
1. REPETITION – Repeat the steps of this process to be happy . Make it a habit, “Not caring about the world” About the odd people in your lives
Every body has them, choose not to lose your peace,
“Be the sun” no matter how many clouds try to block it’s light, it still doesn’t leave to burn bright.
2. LET GO OF THE “POOR ME” MENTALITY
Look, this is the first step tho it’s “2nd” Lol anyway, let go of the “poor me” mentality!
-What does that mean? I mean, let go of the behaviour of you to look poor like a beggar tho you’re not.Your fucking a ducking hero, build your self-esteem, self-love, don’t go like “I’m having a miserable life,nothing is going accordingly, I’m a loser,I look ugly, assuming shit.
Everybody thinks that their problems are unique, but they are universal incase you didn’t know. Nobody talks about them as they are embarassing and uncomfortable.
3. DON’T ASSIGN YOUR OWN HAPPINESS TO ANYONE ELSE – So what’s the next step How do i become self dependent. Know that
You are completely responsible for your happiness . Always be in control of that
Dalai lama said How can you make others happy when you yourself are unhappy 👎?
Start appreciating yourself first.
YOU ARE BRILLIANT, AND INDEPENDENT .
Isn’t it exciting to know what’s next? Yes, I’m ready to be happy, I’m ready to be f*cking, Unf*ckwithable.
4. DO WHAT GETS YOU EXCITED AND DO IT OFTEN
Okay, so what are your interests in?
What are the things you always wished to do?
Do you wanted to learn a new skill? (it can be as simple as photography, cooking, singing, presenting yourself, communication).
Seek it out, Whatever it is,and do it often . Appreciate the little life as a blessing we got on earth. Since we have got ample amount of time now during the crisis. Everybody is at home. So what’s stopping you from doing what you want?
Whatever, that makes you chill, you know the first step right “Repetition”.Make it your habit, your routine.
– What’s the final step ? Oh the final step is like karma.Don’t be afraid. Chill.
Giving is a powerful system for bringing bliss into your life.👍A compliment to a coworker 👍A handwritten note ofappreciation👍Inviting someone to get ahead of you in lineAllof these seemingly little things will help elevate your happiness while creating tiny ripples that you may not see but when multiplied, help us make this world a far kinder and more beautiful place. Okay, you’ve got through the five steps successfully Read it more than once, fit in your system, make it a “day one” and not “oneday“.
Ah, Adin what do you mean by nobody cares about you?
Let me explain it to you by the 18/40/60rule .
When you are 18 ,you worry about what everybody is thinking about you.
When you are 40 ,you don’t give a darn about what anybody thinks of you.
When you turn 60 ,you realize nobody’s been thinking about you at all.
Suprise Suprise Suprise!
We are not that great that people will constantly, think about us. Most of the time, people are thinking/worrying about themselves (not you) . If at all ,they think about you, they are wondering what you are thinking about them. People think about themselves not you.
Conclusion: Think about it – All the time you are wasting worrying about what other people think about your goals, your clothes, your hair, and your home could all be better spent on thinking about and doing the things that will help you achieve your goals.
You need to base your decisions about what you want to do on your goals and desires, not on the goals, desires, opinions and judgement of your parents, friends,spouse,children and coworkers.
Standing up for yourself isn’t easy .But it’s definitely worth it.
What is the mere point of life ,if you are only living under people’s expectations?
Are you too afraid of being on stage like some of my friends are?
Are you too afraid of trying something new during this lockdown only because you fear what others might think about you?(it can be as simple as doing workout, meditation, starting your own page opening a small online business,learning a new language, or taking singing,dancing as a passion).
It means you are f*ckwithable again. ..But what i did now? You are giving a fuck about failure.We love people’s acceptance more ,our convenience more rather than trying out something new and being rejected. Because you are hardwired by society to be always comfortable and if you try something new which makes people makes uncomfortable, then aha, you have enough people mocking you down. What we need to learn to be Unf*ckwithable is to accept and give rejection on face. Ok how do i do that? Simply learn to accept and say no. It will make your life better.
A lady probably (mid 60’s) stays 2 floor below me ,whenever i see her ,she is in a fight with someone or the other. The fight reasons are not big but they are always petty, i can bet on that. Oh, you may wonder why doesn’t she mind her own business, why is she poking her nose in her neighbor problems, why is she not happy with people around her. Note : She although has kids, they don’t send her a penny. Her husband doesn’t say her anything, because he fears her. Haha (pun intended).
So what we conclude from this story?
Conclusion : Most people who give a fuck about whatever you do, who at opportune time try to drag you down, have nothing meaningful in their life to give a real fuck about.
‘You have to believe in yourself when no one else does. That’s what makes you a winner. So f*ck unimportant things in life.’ ‘Quit worrying about what people think,always follow your heart’
Let me know in the comments which part of the post hit you hard!
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