Failure is an inevitable part of life.
We stop ourselves from doing things, we always wanted to, only because we fear we will fail.
- Fear of asking your crush out!
- Fear for asking for a increase in salary pay.
- Fear of going up on stage.
- Fear of asking your boss payment during the pandemic!
- Fear of losing family, friend’s respect when you opt to try something new!
- Fear of failing in a relationship
- Fear of accepting reality
(You know you suck, but you still pretend you don’t)
I don’t say fear is bad or is a negative emotion.
How was fear during stone age times?
Fear is a vital response to physical and emotional danger that has been pivoted throughout evolution. If people didn’t feel fear, they wouldn’t be able to protect themselves from legitimate threats which often had life or death consequences in the ancestral world.
You can say a fight or a flight situation. You either fight or resort to flight for survival.
How is fear in current times?
Nowadays, the stakes are low.
You obviously don’t have huge animals running behind you.
Or a hot head savage (clothed in leaves) running behind you.
Or a short faced bear and sabertooth cats trying to eat you up.
But we do still have the fight and flight mental thing.
So going for a first date feels like a fight or flight situation.
Thanks to me, i took science during college days. I understand this so well.
Everything seems scary at first
Suppose you have been on a date.Then you go to a second date ,then a third. Years pass and you master the dating process .
..Then you think, its not that scary as it looked like at the first place.
Everything at the first place looks scary and agitating.
According to psychology, its like a loop.
Once you understand a game, you become more confident around it
Also it works the reverse way as well.
Once you develop a fear, you develop more fears around it.
A short motivational story
When i was in 10th std , i was a studious teen . Always listening to teachers, obeying them, being a good child. What i sucked at was i never could talk or give a speech publicly.
I used to be called to speak on mike for assembly. (Assembly is a short prayer type before school routine starts)
Speaking on mike made me nervy. Making a mistake there, used to eat me up with guilt.
Then i was the school’s prelim topper. So at the farewell party, after all the lovely program set for us, i had to do the most difficult part.
Go on stage to accept felicitations. And give a goddamn speech on how will i top the final exams as well!!!
And then it happened.
I gave my best speech i could ever give, in a minute.
This is what i said.
I will top, you don’t worry, i will top, i will make our principal proud😂😂.
Though i didn’t get any claps, all i got were these words from the principal.
“You are the school topper and you gave such a horrible speech”
That ate me up for a few months.
Now i am in my degree college. I am a science tutor at a renowned class in Mumbai . I give amazing presentations in college as well as in class. I am a phenomenal speaker now.
How i can now easily do the things i always wanted to? Years of practice, writing scripts, rewriting them. Making myself vulnerable. Accepting honest feedback got me here.
The thing i hated 5 years ago i love it now.It all started with the failure i received years back.
If i never experienced that, i wouldn’t have been here.
How to overcome fear of failure?
I will discuss 4 proven methods which i myself use a lot!
1. Having smart goals.
According to google-have 50% goals which have 50% chance of failure
Google applies this strategy to all its goals. It failed at google plus, google waves, google videos, google talk to name a few.
2.Writing down your fears.
Journalling helps lot in this case. I myself journal a lot, i write about difficult emotions which cannot be handled.
If you want to know more about how to start journalling and its benefits, let me know in the comments. I will making a blog on how to properly journal to boost productivity.
3. Preparing yourself for the worst
You could ask yourself about what worse can happen in a situation
You may get rejected.
You may get turned down.
You may get bogged down.
What more can happen?
Is that the worse ?
You see your mind can elevate a thought to look like a monster. It can also make it look petite.
Knowing the worse, helps in handling failures well.
4. Having a positive attitude
What would you do differently if you were absolutely guaranteed of success in any undertaking?” Would you try more things? Would you keep working long after others would have given up? People who have positive attitudes are successful because they keep trying even after others give up.
What methods have you been using successfully for overcoming fear?Let us know in the comments!
Don’t forget to share to friends and family.
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