We discussed earlier the about the difference between Envy and Jealousy.
A quick disclaimer – I will discussing certain things which may resonate with you. Know jealousy and envy are universal and its completely ok to experience them.
Click to tweet this post to your f*cking jealous friends.Tweet
Jealousy isn’t always materialistic. People envy how others love you, show love to you and have love for you. People envy the way you handled a situation that they couldn’t . What would broken them,didn’t break you .They envy because something they couldn’t get past, was a breeze for you.Tweet
As i was researching on this topic . browsing through articles on web ,my heart started to race fast. Knowing the terms related to me. All my past experiences played like a movie , i realized where i sucked and where i didn’t. If you say, you are not a jealous or an envious person then there is something wrong. Too much of anything is always bad . These are normal human emotions and they are there for a reason.
You notice your partner distancing from you, and spending most of their time with a co-worker probably more attractive than you. If you say you are not concerned there is a problem with you. You are f*cking denying reality. You may argue on having trust and loyalty , yes that is important too. But a sensible man will be like fuck trust, i need to figure what’s going on first. Jealousy also works on saving relationship as well. It acts as a precautionary tool.
Here being positive sucks. Your life is devastated in front of your eyes. You sit back saying its normal and reciting ‘all happens for a reason’. Confronting your fears and anxiety head on, makes you more confident and self- assured in the long run.
Let me introduce to you roots of the green eyed monsters.
Children are frequently envious and jealous of the attention showered on a newborn sibling. Belief that a sibling is favored can create lifelong feelings of shame and inadequacy.Tweet
Roots : Envy is a feeling of discontent or covetousness with regard to someone ‘s advantages, possessions, or traits such as beauty, success, or talent. It’s also a common defense to shame, when we feel less than another in some respect. When the defense is working, we’re not aware of feeling inadequate. We may even feel superior and disparage the person we envy. A narcissist might go so far as to sabotage or defame the envied person. All the while unconscious of feeling inferior himself.
I recently had posted an Instagram post. Discussing how i suffered from depression, how i got out of it , how i was my worst critic, how i overcame self-pity. I wrote there how a sweet girl was there for my help and how with her help all the above problems were solved. I learned to be vulnerable and to accept my reality. Fortunately, i had the girl to be my girlfriend . A few days later after the post , i had her telling me that a friend of mine was spreading rumors about our relationship. In which the girl had the major role. I was furious because i regarded her to be a close friend. I could sit and write articles on how to stop worrying on what others think of you. But i didn’t and decided to talk to her, to tell her to shut the fuck up . But my girlfriend stopped me from doing so. She told me Adin you can’t always stop people’s mouth from throwing shit. She told me may be she is insecure herself.
Arrogance and aggression serve as defenses along with envy. Generally, the degree of our devaluation or aggression is commensurate with the extent of underlying shame.
Jealousy also stems from feelings of inadequacy, though they are usually more conscious than with envy. However, whereas envy is the desire to possess what someone else has, jealousy is the fear of losing what we have. We feel susceptible to losing the eye or feelings of somebody on the brink of us. It is defined as mental uneasiness thanks to suspicion or fear of rivalry or unfaithfulness and should include envy when our rival has aspects that we desire. By discouraging infidelity, jealousy historically has served to take care of the species, certainty of paternity, and therefore the integrity of the family. But it are often a destructive force in relationships — even lethal. Jealousy is the leading cause of spousal homicides.
A short story of Bella
A short story of Bella Bella’s deep-seated belief that she was inadequate and undeserving of love motivated her to seek male attention and at times intentionally act in ways to make her boyfriend jealous and more eager. Her insecurity also made her jealous. She imagined that he desired other women quite her, when that wasn’t the case. Her beliefs reflect toxic or internalized shame common among codependents. It’s caused by the emotional abandonment in childhood and results in problems in intimate relationships.
Let me know in the comments.